Kiss me, Harry
by Heptagon
Summary: Hermione has a small problem, but why is Harry so reluctant to help? Sequel posted: "Marrying Harry".


**Author's Notes: **Humour-Fluff-Humour

**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter is not mine.

* * *

**Kiss me, Harry**

"Harry!" Hermione cried to her friend from the other end of the long hallway, making more than one head turn.

Harry stopped and waited her to reach him, raising his eyebrows in question.

"Harry," Hermione panted, slightly out of breath. "You're my friend, aren't you?"

"Yes," said Harry slowly with growing suspicion. If she started her story this way then nothing good would come of this, he knew it. Usually it meant she wanted Harry to do something he was rather unwilling to do. And right now, he was ready to bet almost anything that this was the case here as well.

"And as a really good friend of mine, I'm sure you wouldn't mind helping me just a bit with this teeny tiny problem I'm having?"

Harry didn't answer, mentally preparing himself for what was to come and forming the word NO on his lips, ready to come out the moment she had stated her wish.

"Kiss me, Harry."

"No."

"I'm only asking..."

"No."

"It's not supposed to mean..."

"No."

"I'd just..."

"Where's Malfoy?"

"What?" she asked innocently, feigning surprise though her eyes were telling a different story. She had not only been expecting this question, she had been fearing it as well. Which meant that there the sleeping dog lay.

"Where is Malfoy?"

"I don't know," said her mouth, calmly, but her expression was yelling a vicious _I DON'T CARE_ at the same time. Harry, of course, noticed it.

"What is it this time? Spew again? The fact he still wears a green and silver scarf? Called me Potthead perhaps? Or said you were an annoying bookworm with no social life?" he asked tiredly.

"Nothing like that," Hermione laughed nervously. "He just considers himself the best kisser in the world and I objected to that, but he pointed out that I have no one to compare him to, except perhaps Krum, but that was years ago, so I just thought you could help me out with that, Harry."

She was sending that look at him again – the look he was almost unable to resist. But Harry knew better.

"The last time I helped you with such matter, I was confined to hospital wing for three days. And receiving all those bludgers wasn't exactly painless either."

"Oh, Harry, that was just an accident. He isn't even a Beater. And we still won that game."

"Yes, but that didn't stop him from sending those bludgers at me **after** I've caught the Snitch. And you yelling all those things to me didn't help either."

"I was just congratulating you...

"With _Yoo-Hoo, Harry, you're the man! _and _Eat dirt, snake-lovers! _Not to mention _You're just as good in Quidditch as in bed!_"

"I didn't say that last one," Hermione blushed. "Must have been Ginny."

"Perhaps, only Ginny was right beside me and that yell came from the audience. From Gryffindors, what's more."

"It could have been anyone, really."

"I suppose," Harry chose not to argue even though he _knew_ it had been Hermione. First, he would recognize her voice anywhere, second, he saw her yelling that, and third, right after that two bludgers had hit him rather painfully.

"So, will you?" Hermione asked, wakening Harry from his thoughts.

"Will I what?"

"Kiss me, of course, you silly," Hermione actually giggled.

_Yes, silly me,_ thought Harry miserably. Hermione, always so reasonable, but in such situations she never listened to him. Yet Harry still tried.

"Mione," he began slowly, willing her to understand. "This will get you nowhere. Just like all those other times. It will only get me somewhere, and that's to hospital wing. So, my final answer is NO, I'm not going to help you make Malfoy jealous. Period."

"But he isn't even here," she protested.

"The rumour mills in Hogwarts never stop. Wherever he is, he hears of our kiss and gets here before we even finish it. And then you stomp away, angrily, and I'll be all alone to face the music."

"Coward. Can't even stand up to the Ferret."

Harry was not one bit angry. He knew she wanted him to get angry and then somehow, without even realizing it, agree, but he was too smart for that. He had had some good practice.

"Of course I could hex him. But then you would be livid with me for hurting him."

"I wouldn't..."

"You punched me in the face and almost broke my nose last time."

"I didn't... OK, I did," she admitted under his glare. "But I won't this time – I promise."

"Can't you ask someone else?" Harry turned to his last resort. "Ginny wouldn't be very happy if..."

"I did," she sighed.

...

"_I'm sorry, Hermione, I just had that Potions accident recently, I'm still a bit sore..."_

"_But that was three months ago, Neville..."_

"_Sorry, Mione."_

_...__  
_

"_Not this time, Hermione."_

"_Seamus..."_

"_Come back once I've developed an urge to get myself killed."_

...

"_No, Mione, I've still got homework to do."_

"_But how is that connected with any of this, Terry?"_

"_I can't afford to be sent into hospital wing tonight."_

_...__  
_

"_All week with no tests, Mione."_

"_Dean..."_

"_Ask again before a Potions Quiz."_

...

"_I'd love to help, Mione, but..."_

"_But what, Colin?"_

"_I just got myself a bright new camera."_

...

"_No!"_

"_Ron..."_

"_I hate hospital food."_

...

"_Do you know what Pansy said to Draco this morning?"_

"_I couldn't care less, Blaise..."_

"_She said NO!"_

...

"_I can't, Hermione. I just got myself a girlfriend, and I'm saving my first kiss for her."_

"_Wow, that's really... admirable, Vincent."_

"_Thanks, Hermione. I hope you make up with Draco."_

..._  
_

"You asked Crabbe to kiss you?" Harry asked in surprise.

"Well, he was with Blaise, so I thought it wouldn't hurt to ask."

"Crabbe has a girlfriend?" Harry asked, even more shocked.

"Seems so. Anyway, Harry..."

"No."

"Alright, Harry. I'm sorry."

"Me too, Mione," he answered automatically. "Wait, what are you sorry about?"

"This," said Hermione, grabbed his shoulders and kissed him fiercely on the lips.

...

"I hope you at least have the decency to feel guilty," Harry growled.

Hermione dropped her eyes to the floor.

"Sorry, Harry. Pomfrey said you can leave tomorrow."

"Good."

"Sorry."

"You can say that again."

"Sorry. Is... I mean, is..."

"Yes, Draco is alive."

He heard her sigh of relief.

"So how about sorting out your things before you bring anyone else here?"

"I suppose..."

"Do you love him, Hermione?"

"I... what?"

"Do you love him?"

"Yes, I do."

"Ever told him that?"

"Well, no..."

"Go on then and do it."

"I'll go talk to him," Hermione compromised and turned to leave the hospital wing. "I really am sorry, Harry."

"Yes. But you're going in the wrong direction."

"What? I'm just leaving..."

"Yes, Mione. But Malfoy is right there," he pointed to the bed next to him, separated only with a thin lime green curtain.

"You said he was alright!"

"I am alright," drawled another voice. "Now get your lazy ass here, babe."

Hermione sent Harry a half-embarrassed half-angry look, took another step towards the door, turned fully away and broke into run.

"You owe me one, Malfoy."

"No, I don't, Potter. I already went easy on you."

"Easy? Easy!"

"Well, you can leave tomorrow already."

"Lucky me. Still, you're not off the hook yet," Harry grinned wickedly.

"What? She already admitted she loves me."

"Yes, and now she is going to kill you for tricking it out of her."

"That was you, Scarface, not me."

"Yes, but that would be you, not me who is going to face her wrath today." Oh, revenge was sweet.

"And no, Malfoy, you can't stay here for the night. I still have my wand, you see, and you have caused me enough trouble today."

"Fine, Potter, I'll go."

"Good luck!"

"Drop that smirk, Potter. It's for Slytherins only."

...

"Granger, let me in!"

"Go away!"

"I can't. I live there."

"You've got your own room, remember?"

"Oh, yeah. But you have my Transfiguration book."

"You don't need it."

"Yes, I do. I have to finish that essay for McGonagall tomorrow."

"First, that essay is due to next Friday, and second, you have already done it."

"Granger..."

"No!"

"I heard what you said at the hospital wing," he singsonged to her door.

Something heavy hit it a second later.

"Stupid Harry!"

"Did you mean it?"

"I might have."

"You might have?"

"OK, I did, happy now?"

He considered his answer. He was facing the danger to sound extremely sappy right now.

"Let me in and I'll show you just how happy I really am."

Silence.

"Are you contemplating whether to let me in or not?" he asked hopefully.

"No, I'm considering what I should hurl at the door next."

"What was it last time?"

"Your Transfiguration book."

"My Potions book should be there as well."

"Where... ah, found it."

Draco prepared himself for the next thud. It didn't come. Instead...

"I'm sorry I kissed Harry. He's sorry, too, mostly because of his injuries though."

Talk about the unexpected completely welcome.

"Me, too, baby. Me, too. Can I come in now?"

"I suppose so."

"Love you."

...

"Whoa, Harry, what happened to you?" Ron inquired by his friend's bedside.

"Hermione kissed me."

"Next time, mate, just say no."


End file.
